So, a lot of people didn’t like my first post on this same topic. They thought it only skimmed the surface, and the title wasn’t that great. It’s no mystery why teachers leave. And they’re right. It’s no mystery, and I only skimmed the surface. The truth is much harder to take. So let’s talk about the real reasons teachers are leaving the classrooms.
Let’s start with parent involvement. I distinctly remember one afternoon when I stayed after school to call parents. I called fifteen parents, and guess how many I reached. Two. TWO. None of the other numbers in our system worked. Parents hadn’t bothered to update them when they changed phone numbers for the umpteenth time, or even worse, they had deliberately given the school the wrong number.
And when I have made contact? I have been told that when Little Johnny is in my class, he’s my problem. I’ve been told flat out not to call anymore. I’ve been hung up on…twice in one day by two different parents. I’ve been in schools where parents got in fist fights in the office because someone “messed with [their] child,” and I’ve even seen two grown women come to a school and attack a student for the same reason. Parents show up at school board meetings to complain about teachers, yet I can’t get them on the phone when their child has a 13 average in my class.
I won’t even get started on the number of parent/teacher conference nights where I’ve sat in my room ALONE for three hours because not one single parent showed up. It’s frustrating, to say the least.
We need back-up from parents. When we call home, it’s not because we haven’t already tried to talk to the child (or at least it shouldn’t be). When we call about behavior problems, it’s not because we don’t like the child. It’s because we need parent intervention. We are working on behalf of all the students in our class, and we need help. And we need parents to NOT work against us. For example, when we try to enforce a policy against cell phones, and a child’s mom calls every day during class, it makes us want to pull our hair out!
But here’s the other side of that. I had one parent show up on parent night, and as soon as he asked for my syllabus, I knew. I could tell by the tone of his voice. He was one of those parents. He came looking for a fight, convinced I was going to try to brainwash his kid. And I’m not going to lie–for a second, I got nervous. Then he started asking questions. And he was a little aggressive. He wanted to know why I was teaching this and why I was teaching that. But underneath his near-hostility, I could tell he was genuinely worried. And the ugly truth is, I don’t blame him! I’m in multiple Facebook groups for teachers, and every day, I see something that raises my eyebrows. I’m raising two girls, and there’s no way I’d want them to read some of the books I’ve seen others teach or participate in some of the discussions that go on in those classrooms. And to go one step further, I know some teachers I wouldn’t want them to have…because I just don’t trust them with my girls, and that’s the sad truth.
But back to the concerned dad. Yes, he questioned me. And as soon as I explained my rationale for what I was teaching and how it related to the standards, he was fine. Better than fine–he was relieved. This is why it’s so important that we understand why we are teaching what we are teaching. And that we are teaching standards and not what we feel students need to learn, but I digress. I’m sure there will be a post on that later. For some parents, this is a real and valid concern. And I’ve seen them belittled for it when they shouldn’t be. We as teachers can’t have it both ways. We can’t complain about a lack of parent involvement and then also complain when parents get involved. We may not always like what they have to say, but at least they’re saying something.
So then what can we do about the lack of parent involvement? Honestly, there’s not much. And that’s one of the reasons teachers are leaving education in droves. When we call, send letters, text, track parents down on social media, and anything else we can think of…and nothing works? It leaves you feeling helpless. Nobody likes feeling helpless. But to feel it year after year after year…it’s demoralizing. And it genuinely makes you feel concerned for our kids and the state of the world as a whole.
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